Seeking Carolina releases in less than a month. I have final files and a cover for Dreaming August (book 2) and have started edits for Waking Savannah (book 3.) I’m also writing the first in a spin-off series (tentatively titled Bitterly’s Bachelors,) complete with two more in the series, outlined and waiting.
Bear with me. There’s a point to this.
Some have said to me that they can’t believe I’m still able to write, that I can focus on it at all, given my situation. Fact is, writing is the one thing that never falters. It’s my north star. It’s my anchor. It’s my wings. The focus doesn’t scatter, but sharpens. Clear and precise. When life knocks me down, writing gets me back up. It shoves braces under my butt and against my back so I don’t crumble. Honestly, if I ever stop writing, you should all be very, very worried. Fair warning.
What I can’t do is focus on several things at once these days. Used to be I could juggle editing, helping out in my capacity as Queen Nudge at Hadley Rille Books, writing, outlining future projects, home life. In times like this, when my brain can only handle so much, I have to let a few of those pins drop. Read that as, I have to let all but one pin drop. Writing. MY writing, has to take precedence. I can’t flip between projects, editing one day, writing the next. It takes too much mental energy I don’t have to flip that switch. Same goes for home life stuff. I can focus on my immediate family. I don’t have the fortitude for the usual phone calls to my siblings, my parents, friends. I feel the empty space of letting these things slip away for the time being, but, as my mom says, “It is what it is.” Feeling bad about it is one task too many for my poor brain, my heart.
I guess this is my shout out into the vastness of cyberworld, for any and all those colleagues, friends and family reading this–I’m sorry. I really am. I know I’m not there the way I have always been. And I know you understand, you’re not angry or upset. I guess I just feel the need to acknowledge this rift, and maybe, in a small way, fill the space a little bit.
Peace.
Modesty Is For Suckers 
Ok, I’m sitting in the oil change waiting room crying!! Love you!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry! Boo, me. I love you back, sweetheart!
LikeLike
No, no! People in the oil change waiting room need a little reality. 🙂 With this post it is evident that, as Deb mentions below, you are doing exactly what you need to and know yourself well enough to do it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The key are your words “for the time being.” Take the time you need and do whatever you need to heal.
We’ll all be here waiting for you ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Deb. ❤
At the moment, I feel like it's never going to change. I can't imagine otherwise. I know it will. I've been here before. But–gads–just, gads.
LikeLike
Listen, you shouldn’t ever feel bad about not doing something you don’t want to do. Terri, you one of the most helpful, caring people I know and a great friend. Nobody who cares about you will ever expect anything from you that you aren’t able to give.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Shar. I do know that. I think I just needed to say it out loud.
LikeLike
Terri, you shouldn’t apologize for anything. Do what makes you happy right now, since this is the time you need it most. Don’t worry about anyone else. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost. ❤
LikeLike
Thanks, Linda. It’s saying it “out loud” that makes me feel better.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely no apologies necessary. Do what you need to do. Say what you need to say. Write what you need to write. You’re mom is right, it is what it is. And you are right, there’s no room for you to feel bad about it. And we are all right when we say there is no need to feel bad about it. Hugs, hugs, hugs!
LikeLike
Thanks, Maura. I know these things, and yet it feels really nice to be told them anyway. ❤
LikeLike