I see pics of families online, their smiles and
good times, funny moments and
trying ones, first days of school and
last days of summer.
I smile fondly, share vicariously in their fun,
But my first, unkind thought is always
“Why do you get to keep yours and I don’t?”
Modesty Is For Suckers 
That’s not unkind, not really. There’s nothing about this that’s fair or right or kind. To be blunt, it just fucking sucks and I hate that you’re going through it. Sending you big hugs.
LikeLiked by 2 people
❤ Thanks for the hugs. Some days are better than others. Some moments are better than others. Just never know what's going to hit, when, or why.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen, friend, amen. I imagine I would feel EXACTLY the same way but probably with a lot more hostility.
LikeLiked by 2 people
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” -John 16:33
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ironically, I was just thinking today how I’m not really in the mood to hear about anyone’s happy, busy life right now. Not that my situation holds a candle to what you’re going through, but just so you know you’re not alone. Nor are you, by any definition of the word, unkind. These are natural reactions to pain, and an important part of mourning. Many hugs to you. I have Saturday afternoon marked on my calendar and will be participating in spirit, even if I can’t be there in person.
LikeLike
I just finished my final draft of Waking Savannah before sending it off to my editor. In the story, Savannah lost her twin daughters in a way that doesn’t mimic but echoes bits of Chris, written when there wasn’t even an inkling of a thought this could ever happen. I gave my future self good advice without realizing. I’m trying really hard to heed it. But as with all things, time is necessary before reaction stops being so automatic, before we can even hope for light to squeeze through the dark.
You are in my thoughts more than you know. I know I’ve said it before, but grief is grief. Yours is no less than mine. My heart is ever with you. I’ll be “feeling” for you on Saturday. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person