Prove me wrong

America has spoken, and what it says breaks my heart. White privilege is stronger in this country than compassion, than progress, than a wider scope of who gets to have what.

To the people who voted for Trump, I say–No one has been asking you to give up your rights. It was asked that you share what you’ve had for centuries with others. But Liberals got cocky. We thought, we actually believed, that recognizing the rights of all in real ways was an actuality. It wasn’t. White privilege raised a paternal fist and snatched it back, “Now, now. That’s enough. You’re getting out of hand.”

The dream of equality was just that–a dream. Women still have only what the benevolent men in their lives agree to give them. The same goes for the LGBT community, and all people of any color other than white. My husband, my beloved Frankie D, said it perfectly this morning, and he has no idea how it exemplifies my biggest fear. “You know how important you are to me.”

To me. Yes. To him. My adoring, white, well-off man. I’m important to him, but I’m not important to this country as a woman. None of us are. That has been proven by the fact that Donald Trump will be our president for the next four years.

Someday, people are going to understand that my brother’s right to marry his husband of thirty years has no bearing whatsoever on their marriages. They’ll understand that a woman having an abortion for any reason is a personal, heart-wrenching decision, not theirs. Saying, “Happy Holidays” isn’t a slap in Christmas’ face, and Black Lives Matter doesn’t mean others don’t. Being Muslim doesn’t make one a terrorist. Identifying as transgender isn’t a new craze destroying our youth and robbing the sanctity of our bathrooms. Someday. This is, apparently, not that day. Willful ignorance has won.

Mexicans aren’t stealing your jobs. They’re working jobs Americans won’t work for a pay they’d never be able to afford to live on. These are not the people bringing drugs over the border. That’s not going to end, with or without a wall. Believing that overseas jobs are the bane keeping Americans out of work is far too simplistic a response, and as right as it is wrong. “Made in America,” isn’t just a patriotic slogan; it’s the reality of paying an American at least a fair minimum wage. When we can no longer go to Walmart and buy a pair of jeans for $12, and instead have to pay $40 for the same pair, let’s see how people feel about a global economy.

White. Male. Straight. Christian. Middle-to-Upper Class America, and those who believe that’s the end all, be all of existence, you’ve made yourself perfectly clear. Global warming is a myth, because believing it’s real is far too scary. You feel threatened by others sharing your privilege. You fought back, and you’re proud of that. You’re taking back your country, and going to make it great again even if it’s on the backs of others, at the expense of others, because that’s how all greatness is attained in the world you’ve built. Not by building each other up, but by keeping everyone else down.

For me, there will still be holidays with beloved family, and vacations. I’ll go to book club and writing group. Books will be written, and books will be published. I am ensconced in the white privilege I eschew; life will continue. It’s darker now. All I believed about the inherent goodness in people has been proven false by the election of a man who represents bigotry, racism, and misogyny, whose platforms hinged on fear and division. He is the face of our nation. The face we are showing the world, and I am ashamed.

I want to be proven wrong. 100% wrong, even 50% wrong. I DO NOT WANT TO BE RIGHT. Time will tell.



Filed under Political

20 responses to “Prove me wrong

  1. Elizabeth

    More white woman voted for Trump than Clinton. That is the stat I simply cannot get my head around.


  2. Frank DeFino

    Believe me America is strong and no one person can take away all the progress we have made over these past 8 years.


  3. We have been living with blinders on and had absolutely no idea. I, too, thought we had come so much further than this. All morning, I’ve been saying over and over to myself “I hope I’ve been all wrong about him.” We can only wait and see.


    • Terri-Lynne DeFino

      It’s not HIM, it’s what he represents, and what he represents is the fact that we have, as you say, been living with blinders on. We wanted to believe the country was coming around to a more equal way of thinking, that those threatened by sharing their privilege would learn to play nice. We want to believe bullies get their comeuppance, but they don’t, and this proves it.

      I can only hope that there’s still a piece of the Democrat, almost liberal (however misogynistic) Trump that existed back in the 90s hiding inside him, ready to anger a few of his supporters for the common good.


  4. Your words speak for so many of us. Thank you.


  5. Thank you for your words, Terri. I’m still trying to understand how this has happened, while hoping that there are enough checks and balances in place to prevent this country from backsliding too far.


    • Terri-Lynne DeFino

      Thanks for being there, Bev. I’m hoping beyond hope that Trump’s campaign did what they did to get the vote, but the Republican party will prove it’s not the evil empire and govern with a less hateful hand.


  6. Thank you for your thoughtful post. I too am saddened by Trump’s win. It’s going to be a rough road ahead. But I have to disagree with you here: “… I’m not important to this country as a woman. None of us are. That has been proven by the fact that Donald Trump will be our president for the next four years.”
    All the darkness that has emerged from this campaign has called on us women, and all those discriminated against, to stand up and speak and to act. When we find our true voice, nothing will stop our truth. It’s not instant, we have to confront our own darkness, but the more we stand united and the more we open our hearts to everyone, there we find our importance. I think that’s what this next four years will be about. To speak our truth always, no matter what, and know that no one can tell us we are not important. I am important, you are important, each one of us is important, yes yes and yes. Once we fully know this in our hearts, no one can take it away. And as a collective, we will act to change the way society holds this rigid pattern that no longer serves us.
    I have felt this deeply as I’ve grown older. It is the gift of coming into elderhood. I have so appreciated your great strength and love how you speak your mind. This is how we stand together. Thank you and much love. .


    • Terri-Lynne DeFino

      I am feeling mighty defeated just now, sweetling, but I’ll rally. You can’t dull my kind of sparkle that easily. I won’t let it happen.

      Thanks for all your kind words and love. We need it more than ever, and I appreciate you more than I can say. ❤


  7. Lise-Marie

    thank you. i am too sick to speak and you have said it beautifully. I am glad i am not alone.


    • Terri-Lynne DeFino

      You’re not alone, Lise. There’s a whole country full of people who are mourning today. Clinton won the popular vote. At least we know there are more kind hearts out there than angry ones. (((Hugs)))


  8. Somehow I just know for sure that no one will dull your sparkle! Thank you for your sweet words and for being you. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Mark nelson

    Patience, power, and perseverance. The social progress made will not unravel.


    • Terri-Lynne DeFino

      We can’t let it. Instead of marching forward into progress, we have to hunker down and fight back against the backsliding promised.


  10. Diana Munoz Stewart

    Thank you, thank you for this, Terri-Lynne. I am still too angry to put words into sentences–which sucks, cause that’s my job–but this says what I wish I could.


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