A Moment to Reflect

Life has been coming at me super-fast these days. Only two weeks left until we move from our log home on the river, to the townhouse in the woods. I went up to Framingham (Boston area) for a signing, was interviewed for an article, agreed to a whole bunch of writerly events from local book clubs to a library in Maine. The rest of August, September and October are almost completely booked by trips to the beach, appearances, and moving.

And then there are the grands who love to come over and swim.

I’ve had very little time to reflect on all the changes in my life since June saw The Bar Harbor Retirement Home for Famous Writers (and Their Muses) release into the world, and the sale of our home. This quiet Sunday morning, I sat with my coffee, reflecting.

I thought I’d be okay staying here if the house didn’t sell, but I was wrong. I didn’t know that until today. I’m so ready. To go. To leave behind this house, let go this dream, and step into the next phase of my life. Staying here isn’t going to change the fact that life here didn’t work out as we anticipated. It won’t bring my son back. It doesn’t even keep him close to me. It’s time, and I can’t even be sad about that.

It’s going to be hard to close the door that last time. Knowing I can’t go back inside, see the rooms we lived in as a family, the roof over the walkout that Chris built with a shattered ankle, from a wheelchair; all my word art; the mural I painted when we first moved in; the gardens I planted; the trees grown so tall; the table where we all played Loaded Questions, laughing so hard over the bawdy and bawdier answers we came up with; the kitchen where fifteen years of Christmas cookies have been baked with Jamie and her friends–a tradition that goes back to her junior year in high school; the “grow room” Chris and Scott worked in together; the turtle WWF sticker on the wall in Grace’s room that I’ve never had the heart to scrape off; the fireplace that kept us warm when the power was out for over a week.

My writing loft.

So much happiness here. So much sorrow. A piece of life lived, and now, let go.

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7 Comments

Filed under Life's honest moments

7 responses to “A Moment to Reflect

  1. Elizabeth Young

    When I sold my house, the house I bought by myself, as a single woman, where I really ‘grew up’, I dreaded the closing and felt like I was selling off a piece of my soul. Before I turned over the keys, I spent some hours there, in it’s emptiness with music I most strongly associated with it, crying tears of sadness and happiness. I mourned it. I locked that door the last time, went to closing, and never looked back. As much as i had dreaded the sale, the minute it was sold, I was free. No longer a landlord managing tenants and house issues and stresses. People tell me I should have held on to it longer, I could have made so much money. Nope. I will never regret it. Like you said, next chapter. You’ll never forget ANY of those things you mentioned. But now you can remember the good things and not be constantly reminded of the bad. Truly: PEACE. OUT.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautiful! Many hugs coming your way! Tons of wishes for great happiness in your new home. Love you bunches!

    Like

  3. dianamunozstewart

    I’m so glad that you’re ready to move. And happy that all those memories you described live in you. Those you take with you.

    Like

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