The Day He Fell

My son, Christofer ran down the hall.

My son, Christofer had a great fall,

All the skilled surgeons,

Fine women and men,

Couldn’t put Chris back together again.

I woke with Humpty-dumpty running over and over in my head. Annoying. Strange. Then I got to my daily journal and saw the date–the day he fell. He was fifteen. We thought it was a simple “pop it back in” dislocation. No one had any clue it was the beginning of the final countdown. But it was. Five years of pain, loneliness, fear, and frustration that segued into five years of drugs, chaos, anxiety, more loneliness, and death.

There were good times. He wasn’t always sad, but I do think he was always lonely. He lived way too much inside his head.

I’m not going down this rabbit hole. Not now. Not today. My silly Humpty-dumpty verse wouldn’t stop turning over and around in my head, so I’m leaving it here.

Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.

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10 responses to “The Day He Fell

  1. As always… you still my heart for a beat. Sending you love as you remember.

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  2. stregheria13

    (((🧡)))

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Scott Scheffler

    Hi Terri, Some things have no explanation and cannot be foreseen. I wish you Peace and serenity as you go through the mourning and memories of your wonderful son. God sometimes gives the hardest work to the strongest people. You and your family have certainly been chosen to show strength and hope for all of us. The pain of losing people in our lives so young, and so suddenly, is something that we can never reconcile in our minds and something we carry in our hearts. I am so sorry for the pain and sorrow that you and your family have gone through. My thoughts are with you.

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  4. Georgia Pizzarelli

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what that must feel like. I am learning about grief and loss myself since this June when my husband died of cancer. I miss him so much. Some days are good, others really sad. But I do believe I have another angel watching over me and guiding my path. I am sure Chris is with you as well.

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  5. So sorry for your loss

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  6. Ilene Caruso

    Oh Terri.. I think of him often..
    Much love always
    Ilene 🧚‍♂️🦋

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